Say Something!
by ArthurGirl16
Summary: Arthur has to go to his dad's catering dinner, and not only is Molly invited, she and her family are making the trip with the Reads! Convinced that Molly will pound him, the kids formulate a plan to save Arthur, but he doesn't need saving! What to do?
1. Chapter 1

_**Say Something! **_by ArthurGirl16

**Chapter One: **_**Cue Title!**_

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Arthur walked onto the empty title card set and leaned against the black-and-white-striped circle underneath the hanging sign with the title of the episode spelled out in yellow. "Sometimes," he began knowingly, "you just don't know what to say."

Muffy strutted onto the set, sashaying from side to side. She had a new hairstyle that looked like a cross between a full-out afro and a beehive. Arthur's mouth dropped open as Muffy struck a pose and spun around just as she passed Arthur, patting her head lovingly. "Don't you just _love_ my hair, Arthur?" she asked confidently. "_Everyone _keeps saying I look just like Bitty Smears!"

She batted her eyelashes at him. "Don't I?"

Arthur pulled hard on the collar of his shirt, releasing a puff of steam. He wouldn't look at Muffy. "Uh..." he mumbled, trailing off and staring at his shoes. "It's... er..."

"Arthur, guess what?!" greeted Buster happily, running into the scene.

Arthur wiped a drop of sweat off of his forehead, temporarily relieved as Buster grabbed Arthur's shoulder excitedly. "My mother got an interview with Wilbur Rabbit and she says we can come along and each ask him a question to get printed in the newspaper!" he told Arthur in a rush, cheering.

"No way!" Arthur gasped, his eyes going wide just as Wilbur Rabbit (as Bionic Bunny, of course) strode into frame.

"Hey!" cried Muffy. She was standing on a crate and had one arm over her head and the other straight out in what she considered a fashionable pose. She wobbled dangerously. "Arthur?!"

"Hello boys," Bionic Bunny announced importantly, placing his hands on his hips and puffing his chest out so the **B** on his costume stretched all the way across. "What would you like to ask me, Arthur?"

Arthur's mouth hung open as he stared at his favorite superhero. "Uh—um..." he stuttered nervously, trying to think.

"Hey Arthur!" grumbled a voice to his left, and Arthur wiped a bead of sweat off of his forehead in relief, thankful for the momentary distraction. Binky was stomping in his direction, followed by the rest of the Tough Customers.

"Yes, Binky?" said Arthur nicely, trying to ignore Buster, who was pulling on his arm, and Muffy, who was still wobbling and complaining.

Binky folded his arms cross his broad chest and gave Arthur a menacing look; Arthur's smile faded instantly. Rattles and Slink backed Binky up with hard glares in Arthur's direction and growls. "Give us your lunch money, Goofus!" When Arthur didn't move, Binky stomped his foot. "Now!"

Arthur was still frozen, glancing from Binky to Rattles to Slink and back again. "But-but—"

"Arthur!" whined Buster loudly, tugging hard on Arthur's arm again. "Bionic Bun—_whoa_!" Buster lost his grip and went flying backwards, knocking Muffy off of her feet and sending her wig into the rafters. "That was a _wig_?" Buster murmured from his new spot, tangled with the camera wires criss-crossing the floor, "I was _sure_ that was an _alien—_hey_-_ouch!_"_

"That hairpiece was _forty-five dollars_!" screeched Muffy, pulling out a cellphone with one hand and pointing at the wig hanging from the ceiling with the other. She frowned angrily at Buster, who was turning blue beneath her; she was sitting right on his chest, pressing all the air out of his lungs. "I'm suing you, Buster Baxter!" she spat.

"_I'll_ save your wig!" cried Bionic Bunny, punching his first high into the air. "Up, up, and away!" he shouted, staying completely stationary as Muffy and Buster watched with interest.

Binky rolled his eyes at the lot of them and turned back to a sweating Arthur. "Molly's lunch _accidentally_ got poured all over some _Loser_, so we have to buy her another one—now!" he added loudly, as all three of the larger boys stepped back to make way for the tallest Tough Customer of them all: Molly. Her extra-long rabbit ears even towered over Binky!

Arthur gulped, and two spots of pink appeared on his cheeks. He stared at the ground as Molly approached.

Molly took the toothpick she'd been chewing on out of her mouth and pointed it at Arthur like a sword. "Gimme all your lunch money," she ordered loudly, taking a step closer to Arthur and pointing the toothpick harder at him with every word, "or _you're_ _entering a world of pain._"

Then she winked at Arthur surreptitiously, glanced back at the Touch Customers and gave them a thumbs up.

The older boys nodded approvingly as Bionic Bunny made a few more feeble attempts at flying. "Up, up, and—"

"You can't _fly_," scoffed Muffy, covering the mouthpiece on her cell with her palm and rolling her eyes. "You're just an actor!"

A purple Buster faintly nodded beneath her as Wilbur Rabbit rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Oh yeah..."

Muffy removed her hand and resumed her conversation on her cell phone. "I _demand_ restitution for this terrible tragedy he's caused! That's right, it's B-U-S-T-E-R B-A-X—"

Molly turned back to Arthur. He wouldn't look Molly in the bangs, and his cheeks were darkening from pink to red. "Um..."

"Well?" growled Molly, sticking out her hand impatiently.

"_Arthur!" _whimpered Buster and Muffy.

Arthur's knees buckled. "Uh..."

"Anyone got a ladder?" asked Wilbur Rabbit, scratching his head.

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_**Thank you for reading so far! Next up is Chapter Two: Crushed... Again?  
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	2. Chapter 2

_**Say Something! **_by ArthurGirl16

**Chapter Two: **_**Crushed! ...Again?**_

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Buster gasped. "You can't come over to watch _Bionic Bunny_ tonight?" he exclaimed, turning to Arthur as the two boys headed to school early one morning. The sun was shining brightly, but there was a decent breeze blowing too, and Arthur was glad he decided to wear his yellow sweater today—even if he was a little bummed that he wouldn't be able to go to Buster's later.

Arthur's shoulders slumped. "I have to go to some special caterer's dinner with my dad tonight," he mumbled, kicking at a rock on the sidewalk. "The whole family's invited, and we have to pick up one of Dad's catering friends' and her family, too," he explained glumly.

"But it's the premiere of the new _Bionic Bunny Prequel Prologue Episode Five Part Two!"_ Buster whined loudly. His ears drooped when Arthur just shook his head. "Aww, man. My mom was going to order us a pizza and everything! Oh well," he shrugged, sounding disappointed but accepting of his fate. "I'll tape it for you Arthur."

"Thanks." Arthur sighed and shoved his hands into his pockets. "I wish _I _could eat pizza tonight. I bet there's going to be all kinds of weird stuff at Dad's dinner..."

_Arthur imagined himself wearing his best (and only) tuxedo and standing before a table full of food; when he leaned to take a closer look at the dishes, he gagged—the spread was terrible! There was a bubbling orange soup with squid tentacles hanging over the edge of the pot, fancy brussel sprout crusted chicken, and—no! _

_**Dad's special prune n' cheese casserole! **_

"Blecch," Arthur ejected, making a face and touching his burbling stomach as he walked.

Buster gave him a grin. "I bet it won't be so bad," he told Arthur encouragingly. "Your dad cooks really well, and if the other caterers are like him, the food should taste delicious," he deduced, wagging a knowing finger in the air.

_For a moment, Buster's mind drifted... he was standing in front of a table laden with food, and Arthur's dad was standing on the other side of the tabled, facing Buster and offering him a plate. "More prune n' cheese casserole, Buster?" he asked, smiling as Buster started digging into the orange and purple pasta zealously._

_Buster grinned up at him; there was a big prune stuck between his two front teeth and four kinds of melted cheese all over his face."Yes, please!" he replied, belching._

"I guess," agreed Arthur half-heartedly as Buster shook his head and left his delicious thoughts behind. The boys came to a stop in front of the school entrance, where kids were laughing and being dropped off and locking up bikes and finishing homework at the last minute.

"Come on Arthur, cheer up," said Buster, patting Arthur's shoulder. "I'm sure there's _something_ fun about going out to a fancy dinner... and having to wear a stuffy suit and shoes that hurt... and clean your ears and wash your hair—" he glanced upwards—"which always takes _forever_!" he complained, frowning. "Man, I'm glad I don't have to go to one of those," Buster added with a laugh.

"_Thanks_, Buster," said Arthur sarcastically, rolling his eyes. He adjusted his backpack. "You know, there _is _one fun thing..." he murmured, more to himself than Buster, but Arthur didn't continue—or _couldn't_ continue, because Molly, one of the Tough Customers, was suddenly poking him hard in the chest. Arthur caught sight of Rattles' red cap behind her and grimaced.

Buster backed away in frightened silence as the older girl towered over Arthur in the ripped denim shirt many had come to fear. "Out of the way, Nerd," she scoffed, shoving him aside.

Arthur stumbled and Buster reached out to hold him steady while Rattles snickered and deliberately stepped on Buster's sneaker as he went by.

Molly looked back at Arthur and raised a fist—she wasn't finished yet. "And if you think I'm gonna be nice to some baby _third-grader_ just because my _mom's _making me ride with you to some stupid catering dinner tonight," she threatened, "think again!"

"Aah!" Buster cried out, hopping on an uninjured foot and covering his face with his hands. Rattles snickered derisively and nodded his approval for Molly all the way inside.

Molly glanced at Buster, who was still hopping/cowering with his eyes covered, and made sure Rattles was out of sight before giving Arthur a secretive grin. "See ya later, Pipsqueak," she whispered, waving.

Arthur grinned back; he didn't mind the name _Pipsqueak _when it was coming from Molly, because when she said it (and wasn't around any of the other Tough Customers _or_ any of Arthur's friends, of course) she wasn't being mean—it was just a nickname. Arthur had to admit, though, that if someone else had tried to nickname him as such he wouldn't be too appreciative.

Buster finally gathered the courage to peek out at the scene. He shuddered once he realized the Tough Customers were gone. "You have to go to the dinner with _Molly's_ family?" he asked incredulously. "She's even scarier than _Binky_ sometimes!"

"_Hey!"_ shouted Binky offensively as he passed, snarling in Buster's direction.

"Aah!" Buster screamed, cringing, and Binky chuckled.

"Showed _him_," he told himself, and snarled at George, who had just squeezed ahead of him. "Hey, George!" The moose jumped and Binky stomped around George to face him. "Here's the milk money I _borrowed _from you yesterday." He winked and smiled at George, who looked both pleased and astonished. "Thanks."

Back outside, Buster recovered from this latest attack and finally turned to Arthur. "We'd better get in or we'll be late for class," he advised, checking his watch. "Oh yeah, what were you saying before, about the one fun thing about the dinner?" he asked absently.

Arthur shrugged. "Nothing," he replied lightly.

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_Arthur was daydreaming as usual: Wearing his tuxedo proudly, Arthur strode across the banquet hall the dinner was being held in. His mother, father, and D.W. looked on in awe as Arthur held out his hand to a waiting Molly, who was wearing a denim dress with loosened threads still hanging from where the sleeves had been ripped off._

"_Care to dance?" asked Arthur smoothly._

"_What?!"_ gasped Francine, setting down her lunch tray hard on the table, startling Arthur back into reality. Buster nodded and the Brain, Sue Ellen, and Fern frowned sympathetically. Muffy was engrossed in a teen magazine next to Arthur, who sat up properly and tried to look interested in his lunch.

The group was gathered around one of their usual tables in the cafeteria, and Buster had just shared the news of _"What Arthur's in for tonight."_

"You have to ride all the way to the dinner with _Molly_?" Francine went on, looking at Arthur for confirmation as she sat down.

"Yeah," said Arthur vaguely. The other kids exchanged odd glances and Arthur rushed to clear his throat. "I mean, you know, it's not like I _want _to," he added hastily. "At least it won't last too long."

"And your parents won't let her pummel you the whole way there, either," said Buster helpfully, through a mouthful of meatloaf.

"Of course not," said the Brain immediately, taking a textbook out of his bag and setting it down in front of his lunch.

"Unless..." started Fern in a foreboding voice, "the car breaks down and your parents have to trek the harsh journey toward civilization in the stormy night, leaving you all alone to fend off the _evil... _and Molly..."

_Arthur pictured himself in his Dad's catering van, sitting next to Molly, D.W., Molly's brother James, and baby Kate, who was gurgling in her car seat. Lightning flashed and thunder rumbled as a cackling laugh floated inside; all five of them shivered as the cackling grew louder._

"_I'm the Evil! And I'm coming to get you!"_ _hissed a voice outside the van. _

_Everyone screamed as the van door rattled._

"_What are we gonna do?!" cried Arthur._

"_This is all __**your**__ fault!" Molly yelled, raising her fists over a shaking Arthur. "__**Your dad**__ didn't check the gas gauge before we left!"_

"_Fer-n!"_ the group moaned, and Fern let the hands she had raised like claws fall limply to her sides.

She shrugged. _"What?"_

Buster happily continued scarfing down the rest of his meatloaf, blissfully unaware of anything but the ketchup, onions, and mystery meat that he was consuming.

"She might be right, you know," said Francine thoughtfully, glancing over at the Tough Customers' table. Rattles and Molly were blocking a second-grader's path while Binky snatched the kid's pudding off of his tray and laughed. "What if you _do_ get stuck alone with Molly?" she asked worriedly. Fern looked justified.

"You just have to be ready, in case she tries to attack," said Sue Ellen confidently. She raised her hand and made a pinching motion with her thumb and forefinger. "I learned a few things about pressure points, and if you squeeze the enemy _just right,_ they're gone!"

_Arthur mentally revisited the scene in the van again; lightning flashed and thunder rumbled as the Evil outside shook the door handle._

"_What are we gonna do?!" Arthur cried._

"_This is all __**your**__ fault!" Molly yelled, raising her fists over a shaking Arthur. "__**Your dad**__ didn't check the gas gauge before we left!"_

_Arthur swiftly squeezed her arm—"A-ha!"— _

—_and turned Molly into a potato. _

_D.W., James and Kate screamed. The potato's long white ears lopped and wouldn't move._

"_What have you done to my sister?!" James yelled, crying._

"_Thanks a lot, Arthur!" shouted D.W., patting James' shoulder. "Just wait until Mom and Dad get here!" _

"_Nooooooo!" Arthur screamed._

"He can't make her lose consciousness!" the Brain was exclaiming, ripping a big hole in Arthur's daydream. "In a court of law, that would be considered Assault!"

"It's _self-defense_!" Sue Ellen shot back, folding her arms underneath her chest derisively..

"Make her _what_?" asked Arthur, sounding confused. He knew Molly wouldn't be mean to him even _if _his parents _and_ her mom somehow left them alone. Molly liked him—she'd said so herself, when they first started playing together in her pool.

And Arthur liked her too, though recently, when he thought about it, the words made him blush. He wasn't sure _exactly _why, but something nagged at him: the butterflies that fluttered in his stomach once in awhile reminded him of his old babysitter, Sally.

Could Arthur be _Crushed! _again? He wasn't sure. It seemed like the more time he spent with Molly, the more the older girl entered his thoughts. They didn't meet very often because keeping their friendship a secret from both sets of friends wasn't easy—it was risky, but they had a lot of fun playing together.

They also continued to swap things, too. Just last week Arthur had given Molly one of his favorite video games to try and she loaned him a horror film that he planned to watch at he and Buster's next sleepover (with the excuse that he'd rented the tape from the video store, of course).

What Arthur liked about Molly was that she was a girl without being too girly—or too not-girly—and she knew lots of cool stuff, like how to do tricks on a skateboard and give (good) advice and shoot a perfect free-throw. She was almost like Francine, but Molly wasn't half as bossy (when they were alone) as Francine or as nearly as competitive.

But thinking Molly was really cool or having a lot of fun with her didn't necessarily make Arthur _Crushed! _Maybe if he could just _tell _someone how he felt about Molly, this... _extra-like_, Arthur rephrased mentally, he wouldn't feel the butterflies or the nervousness.

_Weren't you just daydreaming about __**dancing **__with her? _a smug voice in his head that sounded much like his own protested.

_I'm __**not**__ Crushed! _Arthur silently replied.

Muffy sighed loudly and rolled her eyes at the lot of them, finally pulling away from her _Tween Queen _magazine long enough to comment. "You guys are going about this _all wrong_," she huffed, shaking her head superiorly. "As long as Arthur acts like a _Perfect Gentleman_, Molly won't lay a finger on him," she promised, holding up the magazine for all of them to see.

The article showed a picture of an older boy in a suit pulling out a chair for an older girl, who was wearing a sparkling dress and smiling delightedly. The title read, _How to Know if he's the Perfect Gentleman!_

Arthur looked at the magazine with mild interest as the heads of the boy and girl in the picture were replaced with his and Molly's.

"Why would that make her _not_ wanna hit him?" asked Francine sarcastically, scoffing at the picture. "That guy looks like a total joke!" Sue Ellen and Fern nodded in agreement, giggling.

"Molly's a lot more mature than you guys," Muffy reminded them arrogantly. "This is the kind of stuff older girls _like_!"

"It _is?_" gasped Fern._ "_Growing up is scarier than anything _I've_ ever written," she added, shuddering.

"Well, Arthur?" prodded Muffy.

Arthur shrugged. "I don't know..." he said meekly, even though he kind of liked Muffy's idea. Even if he wasn't doing it so Molly wouldn't hurt him, maybe she would like having a _Perfect Gentleman _around anyway!

_Even if I'm __**not **__Crushed! _he thought hastily.

"_Oh Arthur, you're so mature," he could hear Molly gushing as Arthur pulled out her seat for dinner. She sat down and his parents exchanged a proud look with Molly's mother. "And you're such a __**Perfect Gentleman**__!"_

_Arthur bowed politely while the adults looked on happily. "Why thank you, milady."_

Arthur considered this while the contradicting Arthur in his head blew a raspberry—he still wasn't sure. "Uh..." he tried.

"It seems like the most logical choice," agreed Brain, nodding at Muffy and appearing not to have heard Arthur at all. "If Arthur doesn't make Molly mad, she won't pound him, whether they're alone or not. All he has to do is be really nice to her."

"Are you _sure_?" asked Francine doubtfully.

"Then it's settled," declared Muffy, ignoring Francine and making Arthur's decision for him. "Arthur's going to become a _Perfect Gentleman_!"

Buster pumped his fist—still gripping his fork—into the air. "Yeah!"

Then he burped so loud the entire cafeteria went silent at the noise. He looked around an everyone bemusedly. "What are we talking about again?"

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_**Thanks for reading so far! Next up is Chapter Three: The Plan!**_


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